Saturday, April 6, 2019

The Saddest Post I Have Ever Written

I must start this post by telling you all I am still in complete and utter shock, but I knew I had to write this and honor my precious baby as soon as possible...I am beyond heart broken, crushed and shattered to tell you guys on Thursday, 04.04.19, my sweet, gorgeous Calle Girl died at home in my arms...Calle was brought to the Vet on Wednesday, 03.27 for a sinus infection, when, for the first time, the Vet detected a heart murmur; she went home and we got an appointment with a Specialist for Monday, 04.01 for an ultrasound to determine the medications she might need; After Calle spent the day with the Specialist, I was told the murmur was severe and she was diagnosed with Restrictive/Atypical Cardiomyopathy with Tricuspid Valve Regurgitation and SAM (Septal Anterior Motion of the Mitral Valve)...She was prescribed 2 medications and I was told in a written report on Tuesday that she had maybe 6 months, possibly 1 year or longer if the medications worked well for her...She stopped eating and became listless on Wednesday and I honestly didn't know if she would make it through the night...I was at the Specialist Vet the next morning before they opened and another ultrasound was done on Calle, showing her condition was much worse in just 2 days...She was prescribed a third medication and I was told she was in heart failure and basically dying; with these three drugs, there was a 25% chance of improvement in 36-48 hours and if that occurred, she could possibly live a few more weeks...I was assured she was weak but not in pain, so I took her home to see if the drugs could give us a few more weeks together. My Mom and I stayed by her side and in the late afternoon we realized she was getting worse, but it happened suddenly and was over quickly=she passed away in my arms while my Mom was calling the Dr to come to my house for euthanasia...It was so unreal=in an instant my beautiful sweetheart was gone and I am still in total shock and disbelief...Halle and Sukki look so sad and depressed=we have experienced so much loss in 2 weeks and I feel they are in shock too...I want to mention that Calle did suffer from arthritis in her back legs and moved much slower in the last 1.5 years, but we managed it with pain medication and joint supplements; she was a 14 lb cat and looked/seemed strong and healthy otherwise...While we believe her arthritis covered up any sign of heart disease because I never saw any health issue other than her moving slower, not once did I see heavy breathing or anything that would make me think there was anything else going on with her...I have my babies blood checked every year during their wellness exams because I am very diligent about their health and want to be aware of any health issues asap...This blind sided me...I am 53 years old and have lost very close family members, but I have always had some awareness of illness with those past losses in my life and this was just out of the blue for me...My three girls and I were in the beginning stages of grief over the loss of Mommy Cat, trying to face our "new normal" without her in our house...I cannot believe I had 4 cats less than 3 weeks ago and now, 2...I feel overwhelmed with shock, pain and an emptiness in my heart; I know Halle and Sukki are feeling these things too in their own ways...I cannot adequately put into words what my beautiful, darling Calle meant to me and my heart=she was a gentle, serene, loving, regal, sweet soul and I am so grateful I got to be her Mommy...I am just truly at a loss in many ways right now, my tears will not stop...Thank you for caring about my special Calle Girl, I am very appreciative of the friendships and love we have felt from the cat blogging community.


Love never dies...Love is eternal.

"What we have once enjoyed we can never lose...All that we love deeply becomes a part of us."~Helen Keller

"Always the years between us...Always the years...Always the LOVE...Always the hours..."~Virginia Woolf


Calle and Halle in 2005...







My 3 girls in 2010...


Halle, Calle, Sukki




My gorgeous sweetheart Calle...
No photo description available.

10.23.04-04.04.19

46 comments:

Summer at sparklecat.com said...

My human and I are so very sorry. How awful that Calle passed away so soon and so suddenly after Mommy Cat. We too are heartbroken because we loved seeing Calle here every week. Lots of purrs to you, and to Halle and Sukki.

Poppy Q said...

We are so sorry to hear about your beautiful girl Calle. We know how much you lived her and at least she was able to pass in your loving arms.

love
julie and Poppyq
xxx

Memories of Eric and Flynn said...

I am so sorry for your loss. It is very hard to lose a very loved member of the family even though you know it is coming, but to lose Calle so suddenly and unexpectedly is devastating. My thoughts and love are sent to you.

Peaches and Paprika said...

Oh NO! We just read this and are so sorry to hear about the loss of this beautiful animal! Pas and Prayers to you and to her OTB.

Marg said...

We are so sorry about your loss. It is just so hard to lose our fur friends. They are our very best friends of all. We sure send lots of hugs and good thoughts. Keep the good memories in your heart.

Holly said...

I’m so very sorry. She was lovely. Sending purrs of comfort and virtual hugs.

Katie Isabella said...

I am unable to find the strength of words I need to express how deeply sorry I am that Calle passed away. The shock and suddenness is devastating to you I can understand.. We send love and warm hugs, and my heartfelt condolences, dear Jacqueline and Hallie and Sukki.

Mickey's Musings said...

It is never easy to lose a beloved kitty like Calle and the hurt is even greater so soon after the loss of Mommy Cat.
We are so sorry about this news. Calle was such a lovely,pretty kitty.
We are sure she had a wonderful life with you and felt your love.
We send you comforting purrs and hugs <3
Purrs Georgia,Julie and JJ
and mum Nancy

The Florida Furkids said...

This is heartbreaking. We're so sorry your sweet Callie has gone to the Bridge. So much heartache. Purrs and prayers for you.

The Florida Furkids and Mom Sharon

Brian said...

We are all so very, very sorry to hear about your beautiful Calle and, having been there too often, we know there are no words to bring comfort. Please know we are thinking of you and send you all our warmest purrs, gentle hugs and all of our love.

My Mind's Eye said...

I am so very sorry about Calle...I truly understand you shocking loss.
In September I took Madi in for what I thought would be a change in her meds only to be told she too had a murmur which she had not had 3 weeks prior and she was in congestive heart failure at 16 1/2. If it is any comfort (I'm sure your vets told you too), this comes on very quickly especially with Senior Ladies.
Hugs to you and Suki and Halle
Cecilia

ZOOLATRY said...

We feel such sadness for you, yet it is wrapped up in our love for you.
Always,
Ann

Sandee said...

I'm so sorry for you loss. Found out over at Zoolatry's website.

Big healing hugs. ♥

Gemini and Ichiro said...

We were in shock when we read your FB post about this. Mom is tearing up as she writes this for you--we are so sad because we know you are still grieving for Mommy Cat and now this.

And Callie was so beautiful. We can't even express how much we have loved watching your three girls. They remind us of our Ichiro so that has made your blog extra special even though we no longer comment much.

Take care and many purrs for your whole family-

The Swiss Cats said...

So much sadness in so little time... We're sorry for the loss of your sweet Calle. We send you comforting purrs and gentle headbonks. Purrs

The Island Cats said...

I am so very sorry to hear this news. I know how much your heart is hurting. I went through something similar with Wally...he declined so quickly. We'll miss your beautiful Calle very much. I'm sending you a big hug to comfort you through this sad time. ~Island Cat Mom

Just Ducky said...

Sending comforting purrs to you. May Callie live on in your heart.

meowmeowmans said...

Oh, Jacqueline. We're utterly heartbroken to learn of your beloved Calle's sudden passing. She was a beautiful and special kitty. Please know we are thinking of you, and sending love, prayers and gentle purrs. XO

Laila and Angel Minchie said...

Such a heartbreaking loss for all of you. We are so incredibly sorry. You are in our thoughts and prayers. (((HUGS)))

Laila and Mom Peggy

Gidget BlueSky said...

We are so sorry about your loss. I know exactly how you feel, that big, empty hole inside you. hugs and purrs and head butts,

Gidget and Mom

Kitties Blue said...

Please accept our sincere condolences as you grieve. You are in our prayers. Losing two of your beloved girls so close together has got to seem unreal and be totally devastating. We lost two cats quite suddenly to heart failure. It is a silent killer in both humans and cats. That Calle died peacefully at home in your arms is a blessing. I am sending love and hugs and Kitties Blue send purrs. Calle will always be with you as will your other beloved cats.

Catscue Cat Mom said...

Purrs and prayers for you and your family. This is so heartbreaking, we will miss Calle and Mommy Cat, please know our hearts are with you.

Patsy Fowler said...

I am so very sorry for the loss of your gorgeous Calle. Calle will always be in our hearts and will never be forgotten. Sending love and prayers to you all.

ANGEL ABBYGRACE said...

I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful and sweet girl Calle. I always say that at times like these, there are simply no words that can express the way the heart breaks and the way the pain is unending. I hope you hold onto the fact that Calle had no suffering and no pain, and that you did all you could but this was something that was beyond your control. I know how hard that was for me to accept when I lost Abby. I still feel the pangs of guilt, like I wanted to do something more, what did I overlook, how could I have fixed what was wrong, when in essence I couldn't. Calle lived a life filled with such love and will always hold a special place in the hearts of so many. I will keep you in my prayers.

Pam and Teddy said...

My heart goes out to you on the loss of your gorgeous girl Calle. So soon after another loss too - it is hard to bear I'm sure. Even when we know they are no longer suffering or uncomfortable and are "free", our hearts ache because a part of us is gone. I just wanted to extend my sympathies - these things are always almost too painful to bear....this I know.

Hugs, Pam (and Teddy too)

Athena Cat Goddess Wise Kitty said...

So sorry for your loss. This is heartbreaking.

Sending you purrs and hugs xx

Athena and Marie

catladymac said...

We are so very sorry to read this ! Nothing we could say can lessen the pain that you and your girls feel better. She was so well loved, and will continue to be with you, as are Mommy & Daddy & Jax. All of you take care of one another. Purrayers.

Lily said...

We are so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Calle. Sending you hugs and purrs.

pilch92 said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Calle. XO

Melissa, Mudpie and Angel Truffles (Mochas, Mysteries and Meows) said...

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Sending gentle purrs of comfort and love your way.

Jans Funny Farm said...

So sad and teary after reading this. Losing two sweet kitties in such a short period of time has to be very painful. Sending warm hugs!

Amber DaWeenie said...

I'm so sorry to hear the news about Calle. I know Mommy Cat and all your other angels were right there at the Bridge waiting to greet her. Keep the good memories safely tucked away in your heart.

Cathy Keisha said...

I'm here to pay my respects to Calle. *bows head* Sending comforting purrz to those she leaves behind.

Mark's Mews (Ayla, Iza, and Marley) said...

We are so very sorry to hear that Calle is gone from the Group Of Three. They have always been a unit. All together, happy together. This is so sad.

We send you our Best Purrs Of Comfort...

Andrea and the Celestial Kitties said...

Oh this is terrible. I can't tell you how sorry I am. Sending all our love and purrs and prayers to all of you.

Nina said...

I am so sad about Calle. It breaks my heart. She was so special and so loving and so sweet. I wish I could say something to ease your pain, but I know this is very hard on you, Halle and Sukki and the people who loved her. Love is eternal and will never die. Love you and your babies. ♥️ Always!!

Sweet Purrfections said...

Oh Jacqueline - I remember like it was yesterday when I received the first email from you with the photos of your three girls! It wasn't too soon afterwards that Praline and I convinced you to start a blog. You've been such a dear friend to me, especially during those last days with Praline. Please know, my thoughts are with you and I with I could wrap my arms around you to offer some comfort for the loss of your precious Calle.

Paula

Dash Kitten Crew said...

I am sorry that I am so late in catching up with your grievous loss. Your girl was a wonderful cat and I know you will miss her more than almost anything.

I am sorry. They seem such weak words but they hold a lot of tears and grief from others who have lost. Calle was wonderful, she will not be forgotten.

Carry Loves Cats said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. RIP Calle. xx

da tabbies o trout towne said...

Jacqueline: We have been offline for several weeks; please accept our sincerest sympathies on your loss of Mommy Cat and Calle. Godspeed their journeys to heaven; it's devastating to lose one; but two, and in such short time, is beyond heartbreaking. We are truly sorry and send hugs and loves to not only Mommy Cat and Calle, but to Sukki, Halle and you as well. ♥♥♥♥♥

wildcatwoods said...

I am so sorry you lost Callie so quickly. This happened to our Darby last year ao I know only too well the heartache. Callie lies on in all our hearts and I know she is watching over you with Daddy cat and Mommie cat until you meet her again!

Love and hugs,
Cheri and cats of Wildcat Woods

Carson Lee said...

Thank you for sharing this.
I was shocked, too! -- when I saw pictures at the top, said, Oh no, not another kitty! The feelings and thoughts and love / caring that you express here are so intimately familiar to all of us who have loved and treasured kitties and then they leave us at some point when their time comes.

I'm dealing with this by keeping in mind what a fortunate feline Calle was and is -- what a lovely and fun life she had while she was here on earth.

She had a peaceful life and a peaceful passing.
There's a verse in the Bible:
"I thank my God upon every remembrance of you." That helps me.

Little Binky and Granny said...

So sorry of the loss of your beloved Callie. We wished we had known her. Soft Pawkisses to comfort you🐾😽💞Fly free beautiful Soul💗💗💗

John Bellen said...

I can only imagine how shocking this terrible event was for you and your family. Calle’s illness, so sudden and unexpected, must double the grief you feel. But she died in the arms of her family, surrounded by the smells and sounds and sights of her home, the place that made her feel most wonderful. May we all know such comfort and love at our ends. Godspeed, Calle.

CCL Wendy said...

Oh Jacqueline! I haven't been much online lately, so only learned of this now. I am so very sorry for your loss. It must have been so difficult, knowing that Callie wasn't going to be around much longer. If she had to pass, I'm glad she did it at home with your loving arms around her. I always say that love never dies, and yours for her and hers for you is eternal.

I understand only too well about the grief process. Be kind to yourself during this time and allow the feelings to wash over you. I always found they came in waves.

Also, I just learned that Mommy Cat passed recently, too, from Ann Adamus' email about our Rainbow Friends. Once again, I am sorry for your loss.
She, like Callie, had a wonderful life and that's all that you can give them.

I've found it difficult to let go of my dear departed 3-Ds, and I still blog about them as a release. I see you are doing that as well. I figure their pictures are part of their legacy, and there are so many of them that we can still share.

My heart goes out to you.

Clooney said...

I'm truly so sorry for your loss of your precious Calle. Sending you our gentlest purrs and holding you in our hearts.

Love from Clooney, Neytiri, Karyn